


endgame

by starksrhodey



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Eating Disorders, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, If you only read one work by me, M/M, Panic Attack, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Read Notes for specification, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Stevetony Reunion, slight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 18:16:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15977771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starksrhodey/pseuds/starksrhodey
Summary: Alternate universe where you taste what your soulmate does.Or, Steve tastes the blood as Thanos stabs Tony.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [squoctobird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/squoctobird/gifts).



> So, I tagged eating disorder just so everyone would be aware and not triggered. Be aware this is also spoiler-y. Steve does not purposely starve himself. He doesn't eat for two days just so he can taste the moment Tony eats. More so, Steve doesn't eat just so he can catch the moment Tony does since Tony eating would mean he's okay/alive. And well, Steve is worried about Tony.

Steve fell to the ground, his limbs weakening as Thanos’ army began to overtake him. The monstrous creatures were piling on top of him; the only protection his face had were the shields on both of his arms. He could feel the sense of hopelessness creeping up on him. It was a gradual process. The sound of growls filled the air, echoed along with grunts and muffled cries. 

He began shoving back, sending the animals soaring. Soon, he was able to get back to his feet, but it still seemed useless. It was almost as if they were multiplying. No matter how many he hit, it barely seemed to make a difference.

The metallic flavor slowly flooded his taste buds. Dread filled him as he quickly made the connection that he wasn’t bleeding. Steve hadn’t suffered any internal injuries, nor any external ones that would call for blood filling his mouth. And even so, Steve knew. There wasn’t any blood actually in _his_ mouth. Just the taste. 

That meant–

“No, no,” Steve began mumbling, his punches growing fiercer. He began pushing the creatures back just as soon as they showed up. Tears filled his eyes as the taste of blood grew thicker. 

Tony was dying. 

Steve could _taste_ it.

“Tony!” Steve gasped, stumbling. He shot an arm out, attempting to brace his fall. He landed on his knees, dry heaves wracking his body; chest rising and falling rapidly as he dry heaved. 

Someone neared, a friend. Or an ally. Steve couldn’t make out the figure through his blurred vision. He just knew the creatures were no longer surrounding him; the other person began fighting them off. Steve figured maybe Bucky. Or Sam. He thought they had been closest to him before he’d lost sight of everyone; before he’d been swarmed.

It didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter because Steve was being drowned in blood. The metallic taste. It was everywhere. On his tongue. The roof of his mouth. The inside of his cheeks. Coating the sides of his throat. He couldn’t breathe. Ragged breaths shook his chest. He began fighting for air, his mouth gaping and hands clutching at the skin of his throat. His vision began flashing. Everything seemed to be going grey. He felt dizzy.

Was he having a heart attack?

No. Not possible. Not with the serum. But. Then what? He gasped for air, his breathing coming out wheezy. A panic attack. He was having a panic attack. 

“Get him off the field!”

Steve weakly swatted hands away. He shook his head, trying to indicate that he would be okay. They didn’t need to focus on him. Not now. Not as they fought for the good of humanity. Steve was just one person.They couldn’t afford to lose focus on the main task: protecting Vision and the Mind Stone. 

“What’s happening?” That was Rhodey’s voice.

Steve was being shoved to the ground; his back met the forest floor with a thud. He blinked hard and tried to bring the figures above him into focus. A member of the Dora Milaje was slicing through his armor, wielding a syringe in her left hand. She reared back, a warning for what was about to come.

Steve lolled his head to the side, meeting Rhodey’s eyes. The Colonel was hovering about four feet from the ground, palms held outward as he looked from the chaos of the battleground back to Steve. 

_“Tony.”_ It was the one word Steve could choke out before the syringe sunk into his arm. Logically, he knew the effects wouldn’t last more than half an hour. The serum burned through modern day medicine like a house on fire. Despite this, Steve could make out Rhodey’s stricken expression just before everything went blank.


	2. Two.

Two days.

That’s how long it had been since the snap. Steve huffed at the name. The _snap_. As if they were in some new modern game or horror movie. No, this was reality. Or, well, what was left of it. The blond got to his feet, the chair letting out a sharp cry as it scraped against the marble floor.

Steve ran a hand down his face before laying both palms flat on the desk. Queen Shuri was just as hospitable as King T’Challa had been. She’d offered them refuge in Wakanda until they felt fit to leave. They each had a room of their own, equipped with a bed, bathroom, and shower.

He still hadn’t slept longer than six hours in those two days.

How could he?

Steve hadn’t ate much either. He refused. Food overwhelmed his taste buds and prevented him from being able to sense anything from Tony’s end. He did, however, allow himself water, which was safe because it left little to no taste. 

At first, once the taste of blood had faded, Steve couldn’t taste anything except cotton. His mouth felt claustrophobic. It tasted like a barren wasteland. And then he made out the flavor of salt. Not table salt, Steve _knew_ this taste. Guilt gnawed at Steve’s conscience; he felt ashamed for being happy.

But tears meant Tony could cry. 

It meant he was **alive**. 

Steve spared a prayer for Tony. The man was strong and often held his own emotions in check. He didn’t often allow himself to truly cry. It didn’t take a genius to realize something bad must have happened in order for earth’s best defender to break down. His mind raced. Did someone die? Steve knew from Bruce that Tony had been left with Dr. Strange and Spiderman. But it was unclear what exactly occured. He worried Tony had blamed himself for letting the time stone to be taken. Or worse, he was crying out of pain from his injuries. 

The primary concern Steve had was if Tony was okay. The genius had obviously been bleeding due to internal damages. And if everyone’s assumptions right, Tony had flown into space. Steve wondered if Tony had anyone left with him. 

The thought of Tony in space alone caused tears to brim his eyes. It was no secret that Tony wasn’t keen on flying into space. Tony was just, well, _Tony._ He did whatever it took to make things right.

Steve just hoped that Tony was alright.

“Knock, knock.” Steve turned around to see Natasha leaning back against the open door. The agent stared at him, her face otherwise neutral.

“Hey.” Steve cleared his throat. He propped himself against the office desk and crossed his arms. “Any news?”

“Thor has decided to fly into space,” she said in a matter of fact tone. Steve knew that despite her nonchalant attitude, she was carefully gauging his reaction.

“That’s great. Probably our best bet in finding Tony.” Steve nodded, pushing off the desk. He felt composed. He need to remain as clear headed as possible. He crossed the room in four strides. “When do we leave?”

A shadow flashed across her face.

Steve’s stomach clenched.

“He’s gone.” She spoke quietly, avoiding his gaze. “We took a vote. Decided you weren’t in a place to make the journey. That and, well, we didn’t think you’d stick to the plan.”

Steve clenched his hand into a fist. It took everything in his power to keep from striking the wall. He could read between the lines. They didn’t think he was emotionally stable enough. He wondered if this was how Bruce felt when trying to control his rage. He let out a ragged breath, turning away in order to hide his reaction.

Didn’t they understand? Steve wanted nothing more than for Tony to be back on earth. Where he belonged. Steve needed to see Tony alive and breathing before he could allow himself to focus on anything else. He needed to hold Tony in his arms and feel his lungs expand until he felt satisfied. He wanted to run his fingers through Tony’s hair and watch the billionaire’s nose wrinkle in reaction.

Steve needed another chance to manage the mess they’d found themselves in. He would never forgive himself if Tony died thinking Steve wasn’t sorry. He needed to make sure Tony knew that Steve would do whatever it took to make things right. And the only way that would be possible was if they brought him home. 

________

“Eat.”

Steve glanced up from his position in the dining area. His gaze had been so focused on the pattern of the tabletop, he hadn’t even realized someone was approaching. In any other scenario, Steve would have been respectful. He would have offered the person his full attention. Especially when the person in question was Colonel Rhodes. Steve knew Tony cared about the interaction between himself and the Colonel enough to be bothered. 

Rhodey slid a plate towards him.

The food was prepared with Wakanda’s resources. So, yeah, of course it looked great. Except. Except Steve couldn’t even stomach the idea of eating. He had to know the moment Tony ate anything. He had to know because it would finally be a sign that Tony was okay.

Steve’s mouth was currently void of any actual flavor. But he knew Tony was at least alive. It was hard to explain, but Steve knew the difference between a soulmate who was currently in existence, and one who hadn’t been born yet. During those early years, Steve lived his life believing he didn’t have a soulmate. So he lived a content life. He had Bucky and his ma. He was fine with that; it meant no one had to taste the countless medicines and home remedies he’d been forced to ingest. They wouldn’t have to live knowing their soulmate was sickly. Because you could taste sick, and it was haunting.

So imagine his surprise when he woke up from the ice to the strong, bitter taste of hot coffee sliding down his throat and sending his taste buds haywire. Perhaps the field agents and scientists thought him weird, but he had immediately shoved a handful of ice in his mouth. 

The taste of coffee had abruptly stopped. It was slowly replaced with the minty flavor of peppermint. Steve had grinned. It was common knowledge that if you began tasting what your soulmate ingested, you would shove a distinctive and opposite flavor in your mouth.

Peppermint was the typical go-to food.

_Peppermint._

“Do you have any gum? Mints?” Steve turned towards a disapproving Rhodey. The Colonel’s frown slowly faded into one of knowing. Despite this, he began searching his pockets before pulling out a generic-looking peppermint.

Steve’s fingers trembled as they shoved the plastic wrapping aside. He paused for a moment with the mint gripped in his hand and took a deep breath before popping it into his mouth. His taste buds immediately filled with the sweet flavor. It coated his tongue and wrapped around the sides of his mouth.

He only hoped that Tony would understand. 

_I’m here waiting._

________

Steve knows countless people made the mistake of assuming that Bucky was his soulmate. The way he reacted when Bucky had been a wanted fugitive didn’t help matters. He knew this. There had even once been a time when he had wished Bucky was his soulmate. It would’ve been easier, safer. 

Bucky was lazy grins and warm hands. Bucky took care of him as he was sick. He held the puke bucket and brushed his hair back. But no, Steve was never actually in love with his best friend. He could only see how they might’ve been able to make it work.

But that was before Tony Stark. Tony had stormed into S.H.I.E.L.D just hours after Steve had finished getting situated into the medic wing. The billionaire barged in with a snake-like tongue. He was quick, trampling over any arguments and ready to bite anyone who tried to keep him from Steve.

Tony Stark felt like _home._ He was sharp and had walls so well constructed they’d impress any architect. But he let Steve in. He showed him how to be a better man and to live in this modern world. Tony tasted like coffee and blueberries.

A week after he’d come out of the ice, Steve had found himself awakened by the taste of coffee flooding his mouth. At three in the morning. A few minutes later, he’d find a sheepish Tony working in the laboratory. Steve had laughed before heading back up to bed. But not before brushing his teeth. With _spearmint_ flavored toothpaste.

 _ **Well played**_ had flashed across the TV screen in his room. Steve grinned into his pillow before falling back to sleep. 

So, no. Steve wouldn’t change his soulmate or have it any other way. He wanted Tony’s sharp tongue and witty remarks. He longed for the billionaire’s embrace and smell of whatever foreign cologne he had decided to wear for the day. He missed sleeping with Tony at his side. The warmth Tony produced. The way he smiled softly when Steve told him he loved him. Steve felt like a better man with Tony by his side.

He knew he was a good person. But he also knew good people made mistakes. Tony had no trouble calling him out on those. He just lost sight of that. He didn’t know when he stopped looking at them as a team, but it would have to change. Steve would make sure of it. It would be them vs. the world.

Till death do they part. 

“Someone just landed.”

Steve turned out to face the doorway. He had been lying in bed despite it being two in the afternoon. He’d grown tired of being watched by his remaining teammates as if expecting him to crack. So he’d begged off, saying he needed a nap, something he was sure they were all quietly relieved by.

Natasha turned on her heel, jerking her head to indicate that he should follow her. Steve swung his legs over the side of the bed and allowed himself to eye his form critically. He was still wearing his battle gear, although it had been cleaned since the fight. He was just trying to stay prepared for anything that could occur.

They broke through the crowd that had gathered along the edges of the palace. Shuri stood in the center, surrounded by the remaining Dora Milaje and her mother. She spared their arrival a small nod and a polite smile. Steve saluted back.

The Avengers were already there, although Steve felt saddened by calling them that. Only himself, Natasha, Bruce, and Rhodey remained. The four of them abandoned the crowd, daring to edge even closer to the medium-sized ship that was now landing amongst the wreckage left from the battle.

Everything was silent except for the sound of wind being produced by the ship as it came to a rest on the ground. It felt like time was being slowed down as they waited. Waited to see who was on the ship. If they were friend or foe. The anticipation was eating Steve alive. 

He didn’t dare speak, or even think his name. Steve couldn’t handle hoping that _he_ would be aboard. Because... if he wasn’t? Steve didn’t know what he would do.

He spared a glance for Natasha and then Rhodey before striding towards the spaceship. They protested, Natasha’s hand falling short of being able to stop him. He was midway to the ship before he could see any sign of movement. The backside began to open, a ramp gradually lowering.

Steve broke out into a sprint as soon as he caught sight of Thor’s head. His heart violently thudded against his chest as he grew closer to the ship. He came to a halt at the edge of the lowered platform. For a brief second, it occurred to him to consider maintaining his composure.

That went out the window as soon as his eyes locked onto Tony’s rumpled form. The billionaire was huddled into Thor’s side; the God’s arm seeming to be the only thing holding him up. His shirt and jacket were in tatters, a bulky white bandage visible beneath. His eyes were drooping shut. His face was smudged with debris from the environment.

Steve stumbled forward, hesitating as Tony’s bloodshot eyes snapped to him, the billionaire flinching back and hunching into himself. He only slightly relaxed as he seemed to realize it was Steve standing before him. Steve’s heart hurt at the reaction; Tony was still on high alert. Steve’s mind raced, wondering exactly what had happened to him. 

“Tony.” Steve’s voice came out hoarse, rusty from lack of use. He shuffled closer and cautiously lifted his arm. He didn’t want to frighten Tony with sudden movements. He needed to approach this situation carefully. Tony’s well-being was his main priority and nothing would–

“Steve,” Tony whispered forlornly, his eyes filling up with tears. He moved out of Thor’s grasp, tripping as he lost his balance.

“I’ve got you.” Steve rushed forward, arms lifting up to brace Tony. He couldn’t help but trail shaking hands up and over the other man’s torso. He sought out any abrasions or wounds that would require medical attention. Tony didn’t seem to notice, eyes entirely focused on Steve’s face. His throat clenched as Tony put his ear to Steve’s chest. 

“You’re alive.” Tony spoke quietly. His tone was choked, obviously fighting back emotions. “I-I couldn’t taste anything. _Anything,_ Steve. But then. The peppermint.”

Horror filled Steve as it hit him. He’d been so focused on not eating that he hadn’t realized Tony wouldn’t sense anything from Steve’s end. Steve just wanted to know the second Tony ate, because it would’ve told him Tony was still alive and healthy. He hadn’t meant to convince Tony that he was dead. 

“I thought I was hallucinating. Thor told me you were alive but I didn’t entirely believe him. He might have been trying to spare me.” Tony gasped, clutching at the fabric of Steve’s shirt. “I thought I had an infection. But I could taste it. It was so sweet. The mint.”

“Tony, shh, it’s okay. I’m right here.” Steve grasped Tony’s hand in his own. He unfolded the fingers, pressing a gentle kiss to each tip before laying Tony’s palm flat against his chest. Right over his heart. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Tony nodded shakily as his other hand fumbled to grip Steve’s hand.

Tony offered him a watery smile.

They would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh, this fic happened so fast so what do I say! This is for all the masochistic people who supported my angst on Twitter. You all know I love posting screenshots of fics as I'm writing them. So! Thank you Melly and Rai (@thefuturjst) for convincing me to write this.
> 
> THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU TO LEONDRA (@tonynebula) for beta'ing this and putting up with my over usage of epithets and sentence fragments. You're a lifesaver. 
> 
> Please leave me all the kudos/comments! Fic writers love support. Leave all your crying in the comments. Let me know how many tissues you used or how awful I am for writing such pain.
> 
> Ugh, by the way, I am planning to explore this verse and add prequels. The prequels would dive into the flashbacks Steve has in this fic and all of their moments as newly met soulmates and such.


End file.
